Embracing Conflict: Why Having Difficult Conversations is Vital to Waking Up to Your Life

Picture this: you're making your way through your work day and walk past the desk of an employee who hasn't been following through on their duties. You know this has been happening for quite some time but there's been no improvement. It's time to have a difficult conversation but you are most definitely not looking forward to it.

In fact, you are both internally and externally cringing at the thought of sitting down to have that discussion.

You are not alone.

Most people do not look forward to having difficult conversations, myself included. But in the last decade as a business owner, I have had to have countless hard conversations as the leader running a team, having clients, and being a service provider.

Yes, I've even had to have hard conversations WITH my clients!

If I didn't, I wouldn't even have a business.

The same is true for my personal relationships. I've seen firsthand how having a difficult conversation, while it can be super uncomfortable, brings so much more clarity and understanding than the alternative. To me, the choice comes down to having a hard conversation or having a hard life.

Why Do We Choose a Hard Life?

If I had to narrow down why we choose to have a hard life over a hard conversation, I'd say it's because we fear rejection and being misunderstood. We don't want to say what we mean incorrectly, which results in someone not hearing our hearts or being upset with us. So we rationalize just stuffing it down and continuing to live uncomfortably. 

But ask yourself this: Is it worth having a hard life instead?

You deserve to have a life of joy and fulfillment! Yes, you will continue to have hard days, but you don't need to have a hard life!

Reasons to Have Difficult Conversations

1. Growth Comes from Discomfort

Difficult conversations give us choices: to shy away and continue along the familiar but unsatisfying path or to lean into discomfort and embrace transformative change. 

Avoiding difficult conversations may seem like the easier route where we can avoid discomfort. However, by sidestepping these conversations, we end up stunting our growth and hindering our progress.

Embrace growth through the discomfort.

2. Vulnerability Yields Strong Relationships

At the heart of every difficult conversation lies vulnerability. The willingness to expose our true thoughts, feelings, and fears to others results in deeper connections and fosters understanding.

When we embrace the courage to speak up and listen with empathy, we create space for authenticity to thrive! Difficult conversations become change agents for growth, strengthen our relationships, and improve our lives.

3. Removes Resentment

Unspoken grievances and unresolved issues can damage our relationships. Difficult conversations can help us confront these issues head-on, freeing ourselves from resentment and bitterness.

Choosing to address discomfort rather than burying it beneath the surface helps bring resentment to the surface, where we can talk about it and get rid of it altogether.

4. Create Authentic Connections

What's more authentic than having a difficult conversation? When we engage in these conversations with an open heart and a willingness to listen, we not only strengthen our bonds with others but also deepen our understanding of ourselves. Each difficult conversation becomes an opportunity for self-discovery and growth, guiding us toward a more authentic and fulfilling life.

Conclusion

Difficult conversations are no more enjoyable than they were at the beginning of this article, but they are important. They challenge us to step out of our comfort zones, confront our fears, and live fully awake to our lives.

More importantly, taking a few minutes to have a hard conversation will result in waking up to a better, more fulfilling, more open, and transparent life you deserve!

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