Communication can be between spouses, other times it’s between friends, coworkers, employees or new acquaintances. But no matter who the communication is between, we all have room to improve because communication is one of the most important factors for relationships to operate at their best.
An Easy Guide For Effective Communication
Nov 30, 2019
Most of us can accept the fact that there is more we can learn about the best ways we communicate with others, but there’s also more we can learn about being the recipient of other’s communication.
Have you ever thought about your responsibility as a message recipient?
When it comes to communication, you have no control over the way other’s communicate, but you DO have control over how you choose to interpret and respond. The way you choose to interpret other’s communication is far more important than what it is they say. Interpretation is everything. This is exactly why two people can say and hear the same thing but it can be understood in two very different ways. We must choose to see the best in people and interpret messages based on positivity instead of negativity.
So you may be wondering how do we improve our communication and align what we say, what we mean, what the other person hears, and how they interpret what they hear? Whew...that’s a lot to figure out!
First, we must understand communication:
What does communication include?
1. How you say it -- your tone.
2. Why you say it --what's your intention?
3. What is left unsaid but still there -- the deeper meaning.
4. Unspoken emotions.
5. How you look -- body language.
What does effective communication look like?
1. Communicate without judgment.
Choose to make your interpretation of the communication to see the other person at his/her best.
2. Don't give unsolicited advice.
So many times we assume that our response to someone with a problem needs to be advice. Learn to ask before offering advice as sometimes the communicator just wants someone to listen.
"Would you like my advice?"
3. Consider the concerns of others.
It’s easy to just think of yourself when you’re communicating, but it’s important to think of others first. Whatever message you’re trying to give will be accepted more when the person feels like they are being considered first.
4. Pay attention to feedback + responses.
Are you wondering what someone is thinking or feeling? Ask them! Don't follow the "don't ask/don't tell policy." ALWAYS ask and ALWAYS tell if it's going to help serve better communication. If you don't, then your assumptions can have their way with you, steal your time, and even damage relationships.
5. Actively Listen.
Active listening requires that the listener fully concentrate, understand, respond and then remember what is being said. If you expect the other person to listen to you, give him/her the same respect and don't spend your listening time figuring out what you're going to say next.
6. Monitor your nonverbal communication.
A lot can be said just with tone and body language. Make sure everything about your communication is aligned with how you want your communication interpreted.
7. Ask clarifying questions.
This will help you ensure that the message is being interpreted the right way!
8. Express empathy.
Put yourself in the communicator’s shoes. Empathetic listening builds trust, reduces tension, and helps solve problems more effectively.
Reflect on your communication:
1. Do I take responsibility for what the listener understands?
2. Do I consider the other person's opinions even if different from my own?
3. Do I adjust my communication style based on the needs of the recipient?
4. Do I add value to the conversation?
5. Do I use communication as a way of buffering (distracting yourself)? --vent, walk away, don't deal with the problem.
6. What do I need to improve about my communication to help it be more effective?
7. Where do I need to start? (Plan an action step!)
Now that you have a better understanding of communication, what is one change you hope to make?
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